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The way out of this tangle is, I believe, Sasha and Malia Obama. Throughout the campaign and the inaugural, they were regularly pressed and straightened for the public hair, we used to call it. And like their mom, they look wonderful. Adorable. But the public also sees that in the girls everyday lives, they literally let their hair down with braids and cornrows and puffs and whatever else black girls wear. Now that they no longer groomed for the Corn Belt voters on the campaign trail, I see the Obama girls casually affirming the black mainstream in a way perhaps their parents can yet. It helps that they are wildly popular now amongst pre teen girls of all colors; there are even Sasha and Malia dolls on the market, though they don resemble the girls much, from the hair on down. But a recent cover in the family section of the Los Angeles Sentinel, my hometown black paper, spoke volumes. One photo was Sasha and Malia dolled up for the inaugural in their Sunday hair, and the photo below it showed them at a more relaxed event a fourth of July outing sitting on picnic benches in summer clothes. Malia wore cornrows, Sasha a voluminous, unmoderated ponytail. An American flag sits in full view on the table behind them. That a modest vision of the future and of equal opportunity, perhaps, but one too rarely seen. Long after the glitz of the inaugural and the president first 30 days in office has faded into the mundane, they be the show to watch.

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Proving the desire to conform has long been universal, my friend Anne, who grew up on the Prairies, wished for and longed for, a flour sack dress. the girls in my school wore them and I thought they were so pretty with all their printed bright flowers but I was stuck with pleated skirts and frilled blouses sent by well off relatives in Holland.